The secrets we keep hidden
by The Best Friend Role
Summary: A short angsty ficlet I wrote in order to vent my emotions. Draco mourns after his loss of Harry's love. Ends in Character Suicide. Harry loved her, Draco despised her because Draco loved Harry.  REVIEW


_Tears streaming_

_Down your face _

_When you lose something _

_You can not replace_

_Fix you - Coldplay _

**A/N: This isn't my best work but I just needed to vent and when upset where else should I turn but to fanfic? REVIEW**

Harry and Draco were the best and closest of friends until Ginny came along. Harry loved her, Draco despised her because Draco loved Harry.

**Draco's POV**

I can still hear your laugh echoing through the entire school, a laugh that now brings tears to my eyes. A laugh which we once shared together but you have moved on and left me behind while you laugh with her.

Not long ago your voice would've been music to my ears but now it reduces me to nothing but tears. I hate it but most importantly I now hate you. I hate everything that even makes me think of you. The worst part is because you are a part of me I am forced to hate myself.

You betrayed me when I needed you the most and left me alone when I cried for your presence. You just weren't there and I'll always hate you for that. Always.

I hate you for making me confused. Confused because I love you, love you so much yet I can't understand why you hurt me so. Nothing makes sense anymore. How can I hate the person I love the most? The person I love more than life itself? You. How?

I know I won't get an answer from you. You are no longer here to give me one. Maybe an answer doesn't exist when it comes to you Harry. I don't know. I just don't fucking know anything anymore.

I used to think that you were perfect; that we were perfect together. I believed nothing could break that bond we had... but I was wrong. All it took to shatter my lifeline was one single person. She made you forget about our friendship and love. The single person who doesn't give a damn about me or probably even you.

She was everything I could never be. She was blessed with all the gifts I could never acquire. She simply wasn't me. Why couldn't you love me? I would have changed for you; I would have played the part.

You took a liking to her immediately and just for that I despised her. She stole you from me so slowly that I didn't realize it until it was too late. I didn't realise until you were already in her arms instead of mine.

I cried myself to sleep that night and every night for the next week, cursing myself for not being perfect, for not being her. My tears didn't help and you sure as hell didn't notice. You were still happier than you'd ever been with me and that just pushed the knife deeper into my bleeding heart. And I was forced to continue watching myself die.

You were slowly killing me from the inside and no one was able to save me. Each day you shared your love with her instead of me and I died a little more. The darkness continued to consume me until there was nothing left and I was an empty shadow of the man I once was. You did this to me Harry.

It is too late now and there is nothing left. Nothing but pure hate mixed with confusing love. I don't want to love you, it hurts too much. But I can't stop. I can't escape it. It follows me like an addiction which I am unable to shake. I bring this pain upon myself by loving you.

I want to be alone, I need to escape. I'm so tired of being here, forced to fake another smile, another laugh, your presence still lingers with me. Your familiar laugh continues to haunt me; your voice chases away my sanity. It seems that there is just too much that time can not erase and I am unable to forget. Your presence seeps through my closed door and drawn curtains surrounding me in memories of what once was. Although your still with me, I am now alone.

I am left alone to remember those days by the lake, those days of carefree love without expectations. The days when we used to sneak through hidden passage way in order to hide from the world and be together. I will never forget the day you sat in my Headboy dorms curled up in my arms. The first time you told me you loved me. I remember because I held you tighter and prayed that the moment would never end, that reality would not once again steal you from me. I wished for nothing to break us apart or change us. You let it Harry, you let things change because you changed. You changed and you did it without me.

As I watched you embrace her tears began to stream down my face. You looked up to stare at me but said nothing. You didn't hold me in your arms like you once did, you no longer cared. I felt my insides shatter into a million pieces as you turned and walked away. I fell onto my bed and placed my head on my arms. I wanted to cry so badly but I couldn't, not anymore. There were no tears left. Instead I wept silently from within. I had no way out of this, no options.

I was simply too tired of the struggle Harry, I was too tired to fight anymore. I saw no reason to fight without you by my side. The blade seemed so inviting and comforting. The temptation was almost engulfing me and I could no longer fight it. I was forced to give in Harry, I was weak. I must've known how it would end all along. It will be too late when you realise your mistakes Harry, you won't be able to undo the hurt and pain you have caused me. The metal feels cold against my wrist but nothing could ever be as cold as your rejection, as cold as my broken heart. My broken heart that stopped beating long ago... long before I the blood drained from my lifeless body.


End file.
